Making Friends

When I was a kid (and even a teenager), I really looked forward to making new friends and spending time with them. I loved the sleepovers where my new friend and I would share secrets that we would promise not to tell anyone else in the world. I believed in best friends forever and would do almost anything to keep them.

Then I grew up. I learned that people were not to be trusted because they would only end up hurting me. I learned that I hated answering my phone and was even worse about returning phone calls. I learned that friendships took time and energy, and that they were not always worth the time and energy spent. I learned that if people knew I was gullible and nice, they would take advantage of me.

So I stopped making friends.

Then I got lonely. I realized that my husband did not want to hear me rattle on about my day’s tasks or my crochet hobby or parenting styles or homeschooling methods. I realized that I really did need someone else to talk to who understood what I was going through as a mom, a wife, and a woman. In short, I needed a friend.

So I started making an effort. You know the saying “to make a friend you have to be a friend.” I tried and failed several times to “be a friend.” I could not forgive offenses. I could not let things go. I was constantly insecure about my standing in that friend’s life. I thought it was unacceptable for them to see me as anything but perfect the way I was. I thought I could judge their life and tell them what to do, but they were not good enough to tell me what to do.

Ugh. Those words are so ugly. I am repulsed by my own pride. You see, I am not anywhere close to perfect. I have made a ton of mistakes. I have hurt people and been incredibly unkind. My pride does not want anyone to know my secrets. It does not want anyone to find out how I really am because it is not pretty. My pride wants to keep my past under wraps.

“God is opposed to the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” James 4:6

I need His grace. So I am going to have to let that pride go, which can be terrifying at times. The amazing thing about His grace is that it has brought me from death to life. My dirty, rotten past can now be used for His glory because it is a clear picture of His grace at work in my life. I can honestly look at the good things in my life and know that they are not there because of me. I have no reason to boast. Any good fruit in my life is there because God is kind and very patient with me.

Now the friendships I have and will make in the future will exist because of His grace and will last because that same grace can be extended to others.

I like hanging with my friends, talking 'bout my B.F.F. Big. Friends. Forever!