Hello. My name is Faith, and I am insecure.
I am not very pretty. I am not very skinny. I am not very
creative. My clothes are not that nice. My house is not that big. My stuff is
not that new. I did not graduate from college. I have no career. I lack talent.
I have no purpose. No one likes me. My husband is going to leave me. My kids
are going to hate me. My friends are going to dump me. My body is going to fall
apart.
This is a small sampling from the thousands of insecure
thoughts that run through my head each and every day. While some of these
thoughts are based in reality and some are clearly not, there is no doubt that
the experts nowadays would clearly diagnose me as having “low
self-esteem.”
They might try to tell me that I became this way because my parents were disapproving
of me or some such notion. They might try to get me to think more positively
about myself and recite lovely platitudes that all revolve around a single
unifying theme....
“I,
I, I, I, Me, My, Me, My.”
“Low
self-esteem”
is not about having a low opinion of myself. It is about being consumed with
myself. It is exalting my opinions of what my life should look like over the
knowledge that God made me and placed me where I am. God did not create me to
be made into other people’s image, nor did He create them to be made into mine. God
created me in His image so that I could become more like Him in love. When
Jesus said to pick up my cross daily, He did not intend for me to pick it up so
that I could bring glory to myself. He wants me to pick it up to identify
myself with Him. The weight of that cross does not afford me the luxury of
looking around to compare what others are wearing, saying, or doing along the
way. The weight of that cross is so great that all I can do is call out for
help in carrying the load. When I do, Jesus steps in beside me. He becomes my
strength. My focus is on Him.
Are there things in my life that I could try to improve or
do differently? Always. I can start by improving the kinds of thoughts I allow
myself to think. I can start by putting my focus where it belongs. Those
insecure thoughts can then get swallowed up by the Truth of His love for me.
God created me. He created me with purpose. He gave me a
unique set of gifts and talents. He has blessed me with children. He has
blessed me with a good husband. He has filled my mouth with laughter. He fills
my cup. My cup runs over. His goodness and mercy follow me. He forgives me. He
calls me friend. He loves me.
