Me, Myself, and I

Hello. My name is Faith, and I am insecure.

I am not very pretty. I am not very skinny. I am not very creative. My clothes are not that nice. My house is not that big. My stuff is not that new. I did not graduate from college. I have no career. I lack talent. I have no purpose. No one likes me. My husband is going to leave me. My kids are going to hate me. My friends are going to dump me. My body is going to fall apart.

This is a small sampling from the thousands of insecure thoughts that run through my head each and every day. While some of these thoughts are based in reality and some are clearly not, there is no doubt that the experts nowadays would clearly diagnose me as having “low self-esteem.” They might try to tell me that I became this way because my parents were disapproving of me or some such notion. They might try to get me to think more positively about myself and recite lovely platitudes that all revolve around a single unifying theme....

“I, I, I, I, Me, My, Me, My.”

“Low self-esteem” is not about having a low opinion of myself. It is about being consumed with myself. It is exalting my opinions of what my life should look like over the knowledge that God made me and placed me where I am. God did not create me to be made into other people’s image, nor did He create them to be made into mine. God created me in His image so that I could become more like Him in love. When Jesus said to pick up my cross daily, He did not intend for me to pick it up so that I could bring glory to myself. He wants me to pick it up to identify myself with Him. The weight of that cross does not afford me the luxury of looking around to compare what others are wearing, saying, or doing along the way. The weight of that cross is so great that all I can do is call out for help in carrying the load. When I do, Jesus steps in beside me. He becomes my strength. My focus is on Him.

Are there things in my life that I could try to improve or do differently? Always. I can start by improving the kinds of thoughts I allow myself to think. I can start by putting my focus where it belongs. Those insecure thoughts can then get swallowed up by the Truth of His love for me.

God created me. He created me with purpose. He gave me a unique set of gifts and talents. He has blessed me with children. He has blessed me with a good husband. He has filled my mouth with laughter. He fills my cup. My cup runs over. His goodness and mercy follow me. He forgives me. He calls me friend. He loves me.